Friday, September 01, 2006

Enchanting

She watches
flowers of smoke
rise merge into a
thickened sky.
............................
...................
....................
Plops on her couch
wondering about
that sparkling river
she whispered to,
that summer
the silent replies
she heard
with warm invitations
Haunted memories
of the times she spent
in that abode of peace
by this enchanting lake
the unceasing wind
that blew each night
through her satin curtains
bringing close
the smell of lilies by her bed
........................
.........................................
.......................................
the alarm rings
yet again
time elapsed
like the night
tired of watching
the clock tick by
watching the rain
make pools on my porch
time passed never
comes back
but all i have
is time to kill
eyes see wasted hours
a wasted life
existence forced
the river of my imagination
being suddenly
curdled.
MUSICAL BREATHES: "Return to innocence "Enya

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just so i get first slot, short comment first: wow!

Anonymous said...

This is damn cool...! This one is distinctive from all the other ones... I liked the narrative style. Loved "flowers of smoke"... nice image.

Ooh... "sparkling river she whispered to" was also pretty awesome! :D The whole thing is pretty tranquil.

Nice way it moves from third person to the first... was that intentional or just how it flowed with the mood?

Anyway, good work... Keep the inspiration flowing. And I really think you should give publication a thought... like contributing to magazines and such. Maybe something online if you're hesitent about print. It's high time dudette!

Manasa. K .Kumar said...

woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
now thts ur best so far woman .......jus mind blowing !

Da Rodent said...

"existence forced"

:)

Shit.. it goes so deep..

Ms. Lane said...

jana: whoa gal u actually analyse my stuff m touched hehe..and yeah the flow of 3rd to 1st person was natural jus flowed like u said.
as for publishing well i dunno my work is very personal i don know if ppl would be able to accept just as a poem and not think about me in relation to it. maybe i will in our coll mag..lets see if it gets accepted ;)

manasa : thanks gurl.

joe: yeah its deep..sigh it is jus read it again and like hell its deep god m creepy hehe

Manasa. K .Kumar said...

WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH an awesum opening to an even more awesum bloggety blog:):)

Arvind said...

Your imagination scares me..
It's like something much larger than you is living within...

It's beautifully vivid & although the dream is one that lauds nature in all it's existence, it seems weirdly haunting...
Nice... I love it!

Ms. Lane said...

manasa:thanks gurl..lol

arvind: booooo (p:s tryin to scare u furthur :P)