VOICES
*The silence is getting too loud*
I'm lost in my head
drunken misery
quick sand sucks me in
falling fast
locked
keys
thrown
away
no feeling
a web woven
through life
twists and
turns
choices, mistakes
and
regrets
thoughts crowd
don't flow so fast
wait
let me bottle it all in
eyes can do nothing
but see
ears hear endlessly
the heart
cannot escape the pain
but,
hopes burns
through dark stormy days
sharp as a sword
let the rain
pour
it will blaze
burn
so will I.
drunken misery
quick sand sucks me in
falling fast
locked
keys
thrown
away
no feeling
a web woven
through life
twists and
turns
choices, mistakes
and
regrets
thoughts crowd
don't flow so fast
wait
let me bottle it all in
eyes can do nothing
but see
ears hear endlessly
the heart
cannot escape the pain
but,
hopes burns
through dark stormy days
sharp as a sword
let the rain
pour
it will blaze
burn
so will I.
20 comments:
woa tht was some ruddy thing !
lol ruddy..
wow girl this is really good.
hmmmm..the depth in you're writing makes me wonder how? you do it each time when you write a poem
lol ruddy aka awesum used by hagrid all da time
Pheww..
I read all that in a single breath.. I like this kinda poetry.. It just seems to flow...
I loved the way you connected everything to everything.. :D
I'm just blog-hopping coz I'm bored.. So, Hey!! Nice blog.. :)
"choices, mistakes and regrets"...
We all do this., dont we. And., we still dont learn. Sigh!!
manasa sean:thankss ;)
anon:depth comes from daily experience i guess
arvind:thanks for stopping by glad u even made sense out of my stuff
rodent:ya we never learn ..sigh..
n yeah nice pic dere ;)
Nice pic :) With a little bit of photoshop work., the tears can be cleared., and that'll be a total babe :)
the tears are what qualified the pic to be up..lol
aw... hmm... well., too bad :(
Yawn... More excellence from Rini. What else is new?
Lol! That was a compliment, BTW. Hehe... lemme try again.
WOW! I hate to sound like a moron who keeps repeating herself but... WOW! Keep the flow going girlie.
Ok, I'm gonna go on. The water/liquid imagery is awesome. You've really managed to sustain it. Starting from "drunken", going on to "quick sand", "falling", "dont flow so fast", "bottle it all in", right up to the last line, "let the rain/pour".
And also the other sensory images offset it. The last couple of lines, especially, with the heat sensation thingie (blaze, burn) nicely contrasts with it.
i also thought the whole maze effect was awesome. locks, keys, webs, twists and turns, endlessly, crowds, dark stormy days... builds up on the whole effect. again your usual theme of loneliness, of crying out to the world to just bloody STOP! :)
Ok, WAKE UP RINI! Sorry, I've probably bored u, going on and on. Basically, nice poem, can really get my teeth into it. Not commenting on the pic, cos well, ur poem is what interests me more! :D
anyway, keep up the good work. and gotta say, your punctuations are a sight for sore eyes! :)
oh, and THIS is poetry. So don't you dare go and force yourself to write some syruppy happy poetry. spontaneous, my gal, spontaneous! ol' W.WW had it half right at least!
And what happened to "musical breaths"?
Jan: WHOA!!! superwoman is back!!
neway lets start with saying my blog is happy to have u back my faithful commenter :)..as for the analysis given i can see your practising for our analysis for the poetry paper..lol must say while writing it never really thought of images..flow..and the blending of it all
and yes i think i'm jus meant to write such melancholic stuff although i'm pretty cheerful in nature its just doesnt somehow get reflected in my work..lol i guess tats why they say poetry stems best out of powerful emotions..yes WW. is quite right!!
and yes will add the musical breaths soon. :)
THANKS a ton!!
Read my last post and continue. Nope., dont consider calling me and yelling at me. :P
Its only words...and words are all you have...to take melt our heart away :)
lol wanted to use take or melt - oh well ..too late!
have i ever mentioned that i LOVE your poetry rinz???
Post a Comment